It's midterm week here at Fordham University, the week that separates the men from the boys and never fails to wrack me with waves of panic, followed by waves of indifference and ultimately, waves of regret. I'm a competent student and always have been, but I honestly think I might be the worst studier this side of the Mason-Dixon line. Have you ever heard the saying, fail to prepare, prepare to fail? Failing to prepare is my forté.
Instead of doing what a rational human being would do and oh, I don't know, study for my tests, the impending doom of exams caused me to dream up some possible midterm escape routes. In lieu of bodily harm my best bet would be to drop out of school, sell my worldly possessions and buy a one-way ticket to Hawaii. I would then build a stand made out of driftwood and sell tropical fruit to tourists and locals.
Though I would probably end up homeless, at least I would be tan and homeless.
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